3 – Meeting Girls

 

Luke spent half the day gardening for Waylon Barstow. The shitty mayor he didn’t vote for. And he’d heard a rumor that the guy was thinking of running for governor. As if their current governor wasn’t bad enough.

The sun pierced Luke’s eyes. He turned his backwards cap frontwards, to block his face from it, and continued trimming shrubbery. His thoughts wandered towards his daughter, as they had all day. After work, he would finally meet her for the first time. He’d been looking forward to it since the day she was born.

A voice behind him made him stop, and turn off the machine. Luke turned around to see Waylon Barstow in the flesh. He forced himself to smile. “Good afternoon.”

Waylon didn’t return it. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Right now?”

“No, next week.”

Luke furrowed his brow. Why not wait until next week to ask him then? Or was he being sarcastic? That was likely the case, but he wanted to be extra certain. “So, you do mean right now? Right?”

“Of course I mean right now!”

“What is it?” Luke set down the trimmer, avoiding his harsh gaze. In doing so, he spotted a frog on the ground. His favorite animal. He wondered if his daughter liked frogs, or if she was afraid of them. He’d be able to ask her later, after all this time of trying to get custody. God, he couldn’t wait to learn all about her. What she liked, and didn’t like. If she was more like him, or like her mother. He didn’t even know what she looked like.

“Well?!” Waylon’s raised voice drew Luke’s attention back onto him. “Can you do that for me?”

So deep in his thoughts, Luke hadn’t taken in a word Waylon said. He wanted to ask him to repeat everything, but gave him a slight nod instead.

“Good. They’re on the back porch. Now move!”

Luke went straight to the back porch for clues as to what Waylon had asked of him. There was a large, wooden deck, a patio table with four chairs, and an awning. On the deck, were several containers of rose bushes in bloom. They all looked as though Waylon had just purchased them. Perhaps he simply wanted Luke to plant them. That made sense.

Now, where would Waylon want him to plant them? He wandered the spacious backyard. But there was no space for new rose bushes. Was he supposed to dig up old plants, and replace them?

There was a line of old rose bushes up against the fence. They were slightly withered, but a good watering should bring them back to life. Rich people were idiots though. Luke wouldn’t be surprised if Waylon wanted him to replace them.

So that’s what he did.

 

~~~~~

 

Sebastian put on a button-up shirt and black slacks, because his father told him to dress up. Apparently, it would make women admire him more. Waylon even let him borrow some of his aftershave. Personally, Sebastian felt as though the smell would do a better job at repelling women.

After combing his hair, Sebastian went downstairs. He saw his father in the backyard, yelling at one of the gardeners. On closer inspection, he recognized the gardener as Luke Lindberg. Like Sebastian, the town shunned him for his past. They'd never really talked, but Sebastian understood and sympathized with him.

Sebastian opened the sliding glass door to step outside. Waylon turned around at the sound.

“We’re going to be a bit delayed,” Waylon said to Sebastian. “Since this idiot can’t follow simple instructions.”

“What happened?” Sebastian dared to ask.

“Instead of clipping a few roses off of these new rose bushes I bought, he decided to dig out perfectly good rose bushes, and put the new ones in their place.”

“Where else did you want me to plant them?” Luke asked.

“I didn’t want you planting them at all! I just wanted a few fresh roses to give to Sebastian, to give to girls.”

“Won’t you need them planted eventually?” Sebastian asked.

“Not here, I don’t. I was going to bring them to our cabin next weekend. Have them planted there.” Waylon glared at Luke. “So much for that!”

“Where’s the old ones?” Sebastian asked. “Maybe you could plant those ones there.”

Waylon turned to Luke. “Do you think you could put the old roses into the containers the new ones came in? After clipping a few fresh roses for me?

Luke nodded and left.

Waylon slumped in the nearest chair, rubbing his temples. “Why are blue collar workers so damn stupid?”

 

~~~~~

 

Luke raced home to his cabin in the woods after a long day at work. Normally he’d be done by 2:30. Depending on how well-maintained a yard was, he could get most houses finished in less than two hours. A place Waylon’s size, worked on weekly, should have taken him 3 hours at most. But Waylon shouting at him had delayed him.

A social worker was supposed to arrive with his daughter at 3:30. It was 3:38 when Luke pulled up. There was an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. Luke winced. At least his father was home, but Luke wanted, no, needed, to be there to greet them when they arrived. Too late for that.

Luke walked through the front door, which opened into the family room. His father, Clay, stood in front of a woman with a suitcase and a little girl wearing an over-sized backpack. Skye! Luke’s chest swelled up. Finally, after all these years, she was his.

Skye picked at the front of her pink dress as she stared at the dingy, beige wall. Her hair was brown, like Luke’s, but wavy, like Hazel’s. His throat tightened at the memory of his late girlfriend. He should have been there when Hazel gave birth. Unfortunately, he was in a jail cell, she died from childbirth, and Skye was all that was left.

The woman coughed. Luke moved his gaze towards her. Allison was her name. She had shown up at his door the previous week to inspect the house. To make sure it was suitable for a child to live in.

“Sorry I’m late.” Luke gave her a smile. “I got held up at work.”

“Clearly.” Allison rubbed the bottom of her nose as she eyed Luke’s dirt-covered outfit.

Luke realized he probably reeked of sweat. His clothes were also covered in dirt, as were his shoes. Should he excuse himself to go change? He didn’t want to keep her waiting any longer. Then again, he expected her to leave in a few minutes. What was the point?

“I was about to introduce your father to Skye.” Allison turned to Skye, and softened her voice. “Skye, this is your grandpa, and your dad.”

Skye gave no indication she heard Allison’s words, and continued to stare at the wall.

“Skye,” Allison said louder. No reaction.

“Does she have hearing problems?” Clay asked.

“No. She’s just shy. I’ve never heard her talk, but I’ve been told she can.”

Luke nodded. He could handle a shy kid.

“I should warn you again," Allison said. "Past relatives and foster parents had problems with her. She never does what she’s told. She screams and cries for no reason. She’s a picky eater, and wets the bed...”

“So basically, a normal kid,” Clay said. “Luke was the same at her age.”

“Like father like daughter,” Luke added with a chuckle in a poor attempt to fit into the conversation.

“Uh-huh. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Allison put her hand on Skye’s shoulder, and Skye looked up at her. “Do you want to give me a hug goodbye?”

Skye answered by stroking the wall with her fingers.

Allison sighed, and turned back to Luke and Clay. “I’ll check in with you in a month, to see how Skye’s doing.”

After exchanging goodbyes, Allison walked out the door. Leaving Luke and Clay alone with Skye.

“I’ll put her suitcase in her room.” Clay picked up the suitcase Allison had left behind, and walked away.

Luke squatted to Skye’s height, feeling slightly breathless. Finally, after all these years. “Hey, Skye. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time.”

Skye picked at the front of her dress again, and looked at him with her mother’s eyes.

“What do you want to do?” Luke asked.

His question was met with silence and more dress picking, but at least she looked at him instead of the wall.

“Do you want a snack?”

Nothing.

“Do you want to play?”

No answer.

“Do you want to see your room?”

More silence. The lightness in Luke's chest grew heavy. He stood up. “I really need a shower. Maybe while I’m doing that, you can decide what you want to do.”

 

~~~~~

 

Sebastian found himself inside a clothing store with his father.

“This place will be crawling with women,” Waylon had said earlier.

And there were a lot of women. Most of them older than Sebastian, and some accompanied by a man, but Waylon was right.

“Now, all you have to do is find a pretty one, walk up to her, and start talking.”

“Isn’t that rude?” Sebastian wouldn’t like it if someone tried striking up a relationship with him while he was shopping.

Waylon let out an exasperated sigh. “This is why you’ve never had a girlfriend. Men do this all the time, and it works. You’ll see.”

“Okay.” Filled with doubts, Sebastian wandered the store alongside his father. It wasn’t long before he spotted a lone girl his age, flipping through shirts.

Waylon noticed her as well. “Perfect. You still got those roses hiding in your pocket?”

Sebastian did. Several stuck out of his pants pocket, partly concealed by his jacket.

“Good. Introduce yourself. Give her a few compliments. Let her talk about herself. Then, give her a rose along with your number.”

“Are you sure this will work?”

“It worked on your mother.” Waylon gave him a slight push in the girl’s direction.

Sebastian walked over to the girl, still going through shirts. “Hey.”

The girl barely glanced at him. “Hi.”

“I’m Sebastian.” He held out his hand.

“Bea.” The girl ignored his hand, and walked over to a different rack.

Sebastian followed, struggling to think of a compliment. There weren’t any features on her he found particularly attractive. Her shirt was plain, but blue. Blue was Sebastian’s favorite color. “I like your shirt. It’s a pretty shade of blue.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you come here often?”

“No.” Her voice was curt. She refused to look at him as she continued her search of a new shirt.

Sebastian might have poor social skills, but even he could tell the girl wanted nothing to do with him. He was about to call it quits, and look for someone else, when his father came up behind the girl. Waylon pointed to his pocket.

It would be a terrible idea. Sebastian gave a slight shake of the head. Waylon nodded and mouthed, “Do it!”

Wincing, Sebastian pulled a rose out of his pocket. “I got this rose for you.”

Bea took one look at it, turned around, and speed-walked out of the area.

“That was awful!” Waylon snarled at him. “You weren’t even trying.”

“She wasn’t interested.”

“Come on. Maybe you’ll have better luck a second time. There’s one, right there.” Waylon jerked his head towards a woman across the aisle, who held up a denim skirt.

Sebastian walked over to her, and introduced himself. “Your hair is pretty.”

The girl turned away from him. “I have a boyfriend.”

Sebastian walked back over to his father. “She said she has a boyfriend.”

“I bet she’s making that up. Sometimes they do that. It’s their way of saying they want you to try harder. Go talk to her again.”

“I’m not talking to her again.”

“Fine.” There were no other potential girlfriends nearby, so Waylon and Sebastian walked through the store. Waylon stopped right next to the underwear section. “There.”

Surrounded by racks upon racks of bras, stood a young woman.

“No way.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I’m not going in that section!”

“Don’t be such a coward. Go!” Waylon pushed him, roughly this time.

Sebastian made his way towards the woman, trying to pretend he wasn’t walking through a sea of women’s undergarments.

For a third time, Sebastian introduced himself. Instead of throwing out a compliment, he tried a different approach. “I’m trying to find something for my mom. Can you help?”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “You’re trying to find underwear for your mom?”

Sebastian chewed his lip. It did sound weird.

“Actually…” The woman rubbed her chin, gaze focused on Sebastian. “I’ve seen you somewhere before.”

“I’ve never seen you.”

“What did you say your name was again?”

“Sebastian.”

Her eyes wandered across the aisle, where Waylon stood. “Oh God, you’re that pervert who made out with a man. And now you’re looking for women’s underwear for ‘your mom?’ I bet it’s actually for yourself, isn’t it?” The woman backed away from him, nose wrinkled. “Get away from here, you sick freak!”

Sebastian had no problem doing just that. He hurried over to his father. “She recognized me.”

“You’re really difficult, you know that.”

They continued walking, but all other women were either too old, or had a man with them. Soon they reached the men’s section, where Sebastian finally found someone he was truly interested in. A man his age. Not as attractive as Axel, but Sebastian wouldn’t mind taking him home.

I’m supposed to be normal, he thought, tearing his eyes away from the man. Why couldn’t he be attracted to any of the women instead?

“We won’t be finding any women here.” Waylon glared at Sebastian. “Let’s go around.”

Sebastian swallowed, hoping his father hadn’t noticed his interest in the man. Knowing his luck, he probably had. He turned around, and followed his father back through rows of women’s clothes.

Right then, a security guard showed up, accompanied by Bea. “That’s him! That’s the guy who kept harassing me, and two other girls!”

 

Luke left the bathroom feeling much cleaner. As he dumped his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper, screams erupted from the kitchen. He bolted for it.

Skye sat on the floor, covering her face with her hands, sobbing, while Clay stood over her, confused.

“What’d you do?” Luke asked.

“Nothing! I told her I was making dinner. She followed me in here, and started crying.”

Luke got to his knees next to Skye. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer.

“We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong,” Luke said softly. “Did you hurt yourself?”

Skye shook her head. The first sign she understood anything Luke had ever said to her. It was a relief. Luke was beginning to worry she didn’t understand anything. Still, she covered her face with her hands as she cried.

“Did something scare you?”

She shook her head again.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Of course, she didn’t answer. What could have gotten her worked up? Luke looked to his father for guidance.

Clay shrugged at him. “Whenever you did something like this, I’d send you to your room.”

“But she hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Take her there anyway. Maybe she hates our kitchen. God knows it could do with some redecorating.”

“Do you hate being in here?” Luke asked Skye.

To his surprise, Skye nodded. He was only joking.

“There’s your answer,” Clay said. “Take her to her room. I’ll start making dinner.”

Luke helped her up off the floor, and she followed him out, still covering her eyes.

“This is your new room,” Luke said, as they walked into his former bedroom. Per Allison’s request, Luke had to move into his father’s room. Apparently, a little girl had no business sharing a room with a grown man.

There was just a bed, a nightstand with a lamp, and a dresser. Luke turned on the light. Skye stopped crying, and stopped covering her eyes. Instead, she went back to picking the front of her dress.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Luke asked.

She only continued to pick at it. It reminded Luke of all the times he’d pick at all the tight, itchy clothes he’d been forced to wear as a child. Her dress didn’t look too tight on her, but neither did the tight-feeling clothes Luke was forced into. “Is it too tight?”

Skye nodded, and Luke grabbed her suitcase on the floor, and set it on the bed. He opened it. “Which one do you want to wear instead?”

She walked over and dug through her dresses, eventually pulling out a nightgown. Luke had planned on having her take a bath later, and figured she’d wear one after. “Wouldn’t you rather save that for bed, and wear one of your other dresses now?” He pulled out a blue dress that glittered. “What about this one?”

“Too tight!”

Luke blinked at the sound of her voice, then grinned. “So you can talk.”

“They’re all too tight.”

“Really?” Luke dug through the suitcase. She had about eight dresses. “Every single one? Why do people buy you dresses that are too tight?”

“They say they aren’t, but they are!”

Luke ran his fingers through his hair, imagining how terrible it would be if the only clothes he owned were too tight. He'd rather not spend money on new clothes for her so soon. But he did have enough money saved up. “Well, we’ll just have to buy you looser dresses.”

Skye’s eyes widened. “You believe me?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Nobody else did.”

Luke’s jaw clenched at that. People who weren’t even her actual parents disregarding her feelings like that. He stood up, loosening his muscles. “You can wear the nightgown. But when we go out tomorrow, you’ll have to wear one of these dresses until we get ones that fit.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll let you get changed then.” Luke patted her back, and headed for the door.

“Wait.”

“What?”

Skye turned her back to him, and pulled her hair aside, revealing a zipper on the back of her dress. She probably couldn’t get it herself. Luke unzipped it for her, wondering at what age children dress themselves. He assumed most five year olds did.

With no sense of modesty, Skye let her dress fall to the ground, and pulled on the nightgown. Good. He wouldn’t have to worry about dressing and undressing her. Just unzipping zippers she couldn’t reach.

 

~~~~~

 

Not for the first time, Sebastian turned on the TV to be greeted by his face in the news. The usual two news anchors, Dave Asher and Jimmy Rodgers, told the story.

“Last night, Mayor Barstow’s son was caught harassing three women at a Kovyn’s,” Dave Asher said. “The two were out shopping when Sebastian Barstow tried picking up not one, not two, but three women!”

“Not literally, of course,” Jimmy Rodgers said.

The news anchors laughed. Sebastian cringed.

“Last time Sebastian ended up on the news, he had been caught making out with a man,” said Asher.

“I heard it went further than that,” Rodgers said.

It did not!

“It did, but that’s not appropriate to talk about on television.” Asher continued. “That conversion camp must have worked wonders on him.”

“I'd say. Moving on to international news, there's a hurricane forming in the Gulf of America that's expected to touch down in Texas. Unlike Sebastian, who touched nothing."

Asher snickered and high-fived Rodgers.

Sebastian turned off the TV, rubbing his face. Great. Just great. As if last night hadn’t been embarrassing enough.

“This is actually a good thing,” Waylon said over breakfast. “Now people will know that camp fixed you.”

Somehow Sebastian didn’t think so. He had read the comments on a news article about it. A lot of them said Sebastian was trying too hard to prove he wasn’t gay. Apparently, it was a big sign of being gay.

“That worked in our favor. Even if we can’t get you married, there’s no denying you’re normal.”

Sebastian didn’t think “normal” men harassed women. He nodded anyway. His watch pinged, and he checked it, fighting back a smile at the name that popped up.

“What was that?” Waylon asked. Celine studied Sebastian curiously.

“Spam,” Sebastian said quickly, avoiding the eyes of his parents. He shoveled in his last bites of pancakes, then swallowed. “I’m going to my room.”

Once in his room, Sebastian tapped at his watch, and listened to Axel’s text.

“I saw you in the news. Is it true?”

Axel needed to hear the full story, and it would be easiest to call him. So Sebastian did, and Axel picked up.

“Hey. Care to explain yourself?” Axel’s voice sounded lighthearted.

“Don’t believe everything the news said.”

“I really don’t want to. I take it something innocent was taken out of context?”

“I wouldn’t say innocent.” Sebastian paused. “My dad took me to Kovyn’s to try finding a wife for me. His idea.”

“Why did he think that would be a good idea?” Axel asked. “Women don’t go to stores to be picked up by men.”

“That’s what I said. But he disagreed with me and said that’s how he met my mom.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. My dad says it’s good that everyone thinks it is. He says people will finally start believing the camp worked.”

Axel snorted. “Personally, I think you’re trying a bit too hard to prove that you’re straight. That’s a sign you’re gay.”

His tone was joking, but Sebastian flinched anyway. “You know that’s not true. I’m normal.”

“Yep. So normal, you go to clothing stores to pick up women.” Axel paused for a moment. “Now that I know you’re still a decent human being, want to hang out today? I have the day off.”

Sebastian was grateful Axel couldn’t see his giddy facial reaction to the invitation. He tried keeping his voice level. “Yeah. Sounds great. Where should we go?”

“It’s not like we have very many choices here,” Axel said. “We got, what? A movie theater and a few stores. And you can’t be trusted to go to a store without trying to pick up women, so those are out.” His tone was playful at that last sentence.

Even if that fiasco hadn’t happened, Sebastian wasn’t interested in shopping at all. Or a movie. And the only other place he could think of, was Callahan Mansion. The large bulk of possible activities to do were there. Knowing his luck, he’d probably run into Barry, who would mention seeing Sebastian with a Hispanic man to Waylon. Waylon would easily figure out that Sebastian had befriended the mechanic he hated. Sebastian would rather avoid that drama. “This town sucks. There’s nothing to do.”

“I just remembered Golf World.”

“That’s still around?” Sebastian hadn’t been there since high school.

“I think. We can meet there and find out. Figure out what to do from there. Noon sound good?”

“Yeah. See you then.”

 

~~~~~

 

The previous night, Luke had fallen asleep on an air mattress in his father’s bedroom. But that morning, he woke up in his old bed in his old room. What was now supposed to be Skye’s bed and Skye’s room.

Allison had warned him about random tantrums. About how she rarely talked or listened. What she failed to mention were her nightmares. In the middle of the night, Luke woke up from the sound of screams coming from her room. He had to wake her up. She was too scared to be alone, so Luke laid in bed next to her. He planned on returning to Clay’s room after Skye fell back asleep. But Luke fell asleep before her.

Skye must have woken up before him, because she was nowhere in the room. The smell of bacon and eggs filled the house. Luke got out of bed, and walked into the kitchen. Sunlight poured in through the window. Clay cooked. Skye sat quietly at the table with a glass of milk and a coloring book.

Strange. Last night, they all had to eat in the family room due to Skye’s mysterious hatred of the kitchen. She didn’t seem to hate it now.

Luke sat down next to her. “Are you done hating our kitchen?”

Skye focused all her attention on coloring in a picture of a turkey with a blue crayon.

“Where’d you get the coloring book?”

She continued to ignore him. Luke sighed. He’d hoped after their conversation about tight clothes, followed by the nightmare, brought an end to her silence. But it hadn’t.

“It was in her backpack,” Clay answered for her. He put a plate in front of Skye. It had a single egg, a piece of toast, and two slices of bacon. Skye didn’t look up.

“Come on, Skye.” Clay sat down across from her, with a plate full of eggs, bacon, and toast. “You’ve got to eat your breakfast.”

Luke hated eggs, so he got up to grab the extra toast his father had made for him, along with some bacon. He remembered what Allison said about her being a picky eater. “Maybe she doesn’t like it.”

“She hasn’t tried it yet.”

“I’m sure every family she’s stayed with has made her bacon and eggs. She’s probably tried it then.” Luke slathered butter on one of his toast slices. “Have you tried bacon and eggs, Skye?”

Skye continued coloring.

“Okay, enough of that.” Clay reached for the coloring book, and pulled it away.

Skye finally looked up at Clay, then at Luke. Her eyes darted between them under her furrowed brow.

“You can have it back after we eat.”

Luke braced himself for an argument, or a tantrum, or some form of protest. Instead, Skye’s eyes landed on the plate of food in front of her as though noticing it for the first time. She picked up her piece of toast, and bit into it. Luke’s shoulders loosened with relief. He picked up a second slice of toast, slathered it with jelly, then put it on top of the first slice to make a sandwich out of it.

Skye stared at his creation with rounded eyes as he bit into it.

“Do you want butter or jelly on yours?” Clay asked Skye.

“Jelly.”

Luke passed her the jelly and the knife. Skye stared at it. Clay stared at Luke.

“Right,” Luke said under his breath. Five year olds needed help with that sort of thing. He took Skye’s toast slice, and put jelly on it.

Skye pointed to one of Luke’s slices.

“You want another one?”

She nodded. Luke put jelly on it, and handed it over. Skye put the second slice on top of the first, making a sandwich similar to Luke’s. Luke smiled.

“Ain’t that cute.” Clay grinned. As Skye ate, he directed his conversation towards Luke. “You still planning on taking her dress shopping today?”

“She needs dresses that are comfortable on her.”

“Are you sure you have the money for that?”

“I have enough in my savings.” Thankfully Clay inherited the house from his parents, so rent was never an issue. Just everything else.

“On top of vaccinations? That should be your first priority.”

Before Luke arrived, Clay had asked Allison about what vaccines Skye had. The answer was none. It wasn’t surprising. A lot of people weren’t. “I plan to soon.”

“Don’t wait too long. I’ve had measles and polio as a kid. There’s a reason I got you vaccinated as soon as you were old enough. It was horrible.”

 

~~~~~~

 

Sebastian and Axel arrived at Golf World around the same time. They waited behind a group of teens to pay to get in, and to get the equipment.

Before the silence had a chance to get awkward, Sebastian spoke up. “I used to hang out with friends here, back in high school. We only actually golfed a few times. Mostly we sat in the food court, throwing cheese fries at each other while talking about hot girls.”

“Fun,” Axel said. “My parents took me here a couple times when I was a kid. And I came here on a field trip in middle school. Some fun end of the year party thing.”

There wasn’t a middle school in Gilran. Just one K-8 school, and one high school. Sebastian had never seen Axel at either. “You didn’t go to school here, did you?”

“No. I’m actually from Redding. I moved here a few years ago.”

Redding was the nearest city to Gilran. “So you’re more of a city boy.”

“I was. Not so much anymore.”

The teens left. Axel and Sebastian walked up to the register. They paid for two people. In exchange, they got two golf clubs and a few golf balls.

“I ended up over here after my parents kicked me out,” Axel continued. “I wanted to be a mechanic, and Ralph was the only person willing to hire me. Because… you know.”

He must be referring to be blacklisted for “homosexual behavior.” But there would have had to be evidence for it, taken to the police or a judge. Either photos, videos, or four witnesses. “Four people saw you? Or was there a video?”

Axel shook his head. “Marley’s parents found our texts on his phone, and took it to court. They were mad because they thought I corrupted their son. That was their way of getting back at me. Ruining my life. Like ruining their son’s life wasn’t enough, I guess.”

Before Sebastian could come up with a sympathetic response, they arrived at the first hole. “You can go first,” Axel said.

Sebastian set the ball in the tiny hole in the lane. It was a basic starting course. He hit the ball but it only made it halfway to the hole.

“Not bad.” Axel took his turn. He swung much harder than Sebastian. The ball zipped past Sebastian’s, past the target hole, hit a wall, and rolled back towards Axel.

Sebastian held back a laugh. “You’re supposed to get it in the hole, not back to us.”

Axel rolled his eyes but smiled. Sebastian walked over to his ball, and got it in the hole.

It took Axel a few more, much lighter, hits before his went in. They moved onto the second hole. It had more angles than the first, and took both of them a few tries.

The rest of their time golfing went much the same. The courses grew more complicated while they shared their childhood experiences.

“I’m surprised the mayor’s son didn’t go to private school,” Axel said at the fifth hole.

“He didn’t become mayor until I was in high school,” Sebastian reminded him. “Besides, the nearest private school is a half hour away without traffic.”

“Fair enough.” As always, Axel whacked the ball much harder than necessary. It flew a couple inches off the ground, bounced off the side of a tiny bridge, and landed straight into the hole. Axel grinned. “Hole in one! I beat you, for once.”

That grin... Sebastian's chest ached as fantasies of holding him, being with him, overcame him. He shrugged off the intrusive thoughts. “I didn’t know we were keeping score.”

“I mean, obviously you’re winning,” Axel said, as they walked over to the sixth. It resembled a tiny village. “It feels like I’m holding us up at every course, trying to get it in.”

“That’s because you’re hitting it too hard.” Sebastian put his ball down, and held the end of the club a few inches behind the ball. “You only need to start the swing from around here. Not all the way behind you. It’s mini-golf. Not professional.” Sebastian hit his ball, watching it zigzag between small houses. It stopped a few inches away from the goal. “You try.”

Axel copied Sebastian’s move, but this time, he hit it too gently. It only rolled a few inches.

God, he was bad at this. It was like he needed someone to move his arms for him, so he could get the actual feel for it. Someone like... Sebastian himself? It was too bold. Too daring. But Sebastian longed to put his hands on Axel. It was a miracle he wasn't the one performing badly.

I don't like men, and I don't like Axel like that, Sebastian reminded himself. He walked over to hit his ball into the hole, then watched Axel position his club. That lucky club...

"Is here good?" Axel had his club too far back.

"Closer."

Axel moved the club too close. The urge to walk over and correct Axel with his own hands struck him again.

It doesn't have to mean anything... Before he could stop himself, the question slipped out. "Need me to assist you?"

"Sure?"

Too late to back out now. Sebastian came up behind Axel, and placed his arms and hands over his. He moved the club to the right spot, and swung with the proper amount of force. The ball rolled into the hole.

“Did that help?” Sebastian asked, arms still on Axel’s, feeling high on dopamine.

“A bit.” The corner of Axel’s mouth twitched. “You can let go of me now.”

Sebastian complied with a feeling of deep shame. What the hell was he thinking? “Sorry.”

“No worries. I know I’m fun to cuddle.”

Axel only improved slightly after that, while Sebastian’s skills took a downturn. He couldn't stop thinking about what he had done, and the feelings it gave him. So much joy, followed by so much shame.

After the tenth and final hole, the two turned in their equipment. They headed for the food court for lunch, and settled for hot dogs and fries. Axel got a slushie with his. There were picnic tables outside. Sebastian picked one, and they sat across from each other.

“I haven’t had one of these since last time I was here, probably.” Axel took a sip of the slushie.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had one.”

“What! You’ve never had a slushie?” Axel covered his mouth in exaggerated surprise. He held the drink towards him. “Wanna try a sip?”

“With the same straw?” Sebastian had a lot of complicated feelings about that, and he didn’t have the energy to unpack them.

“If it bothers you, grab another straw. I don’t care.”

Not wanting to spend the rest of the afternoon with more conflicting emotions, Sebastian opted for grabbing his own straw. He tried a sip. It reminded him of amusement parks and zoos. “Not bad.”

“Right? You can keep helping yourself to it, since you forgot to order your own drink.”

Sebastian had meant to order himself a lemonade, but was too deep in his thoughts to remember. “I knew I was forgetting something.” He took a bite of his juicy hot dog, noticing Axel had also ordered cheese fries. “You got cheese fries.”

“Yep. So we can throw them at each other and talk about hot girls.” Axel winked.

For that, Sebastian picked up a fry, and threw it at him. Axel caught it, and popped it in his mouth. “How hot were the girls you harassed?”

“Not very.” Not to Sebastian, anyway.

They ate in a comfortable silence. Towards the end of their meal, Sebastian leaned forward to take a sip of the slushie at the same time as Axel. Sebastian pulled his mouth away from the straw, feeling warm. Right as a group of three young men walked past them.

“Holy shit. Sebastian?”

Sebastian slowly looked up to see a familiar face. It took him a few seconds to recall the name. Berkley. He had been part of his friend group in high school. Back when Sebastian actually had friends. Berkley, like everyone else, dropped contact with him after that incident. In fact… Sebastian eyed the rest of the group. They were all his former friends. Berkley, Tony, and Matt. Had Sebastian not been caught kissing a boy, would he be hanging out with them right now?

“Are you two on a date?” Tony asked.

“They must be, sharing that drink.” Matt smirked at them.

Sebastian crossed his arms on the table. “We’re a little old for this.”

“Lighten up, we’re only teasing.” Tony sat next to Axel and helped himself to the last cheese fries. Matt and Berkley squeezed in on each side of Sebastian.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Catching up,” Berkley said. “I haven’t heard from you since you went off to camp. How was it?”

Sebastian struggled to keep his suppressed memories from coming to surface. “Okay, I guess.”

“Did they do that electric shock lobotomy stuff?” Matt asked.

“Moron.” Berkley punched Matt in the shoulder. “They haven’t done that shit since the 1700’s. Nowadays they put wires on their junk and shock them while they watch gay porn.”

Matt returned the punch. “That’s what I said!”

“No. You were talking about lobotomies. Those are different.”

Tony jumped in. “I heard they pump them full of drugs and tell them they’re a bunch of sick freaks who'll burn in hell.”

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push down his memories of the shock treatment. Of the counselors forcing pills down his throat. Of the lectures about how he was an abomination against God.

“We could have saved his parents the money and told him that for free,” Berkley said to Tony.

“That’s enough!”

Sebastian opened his eyes, and saw Axel glowering at the group.

“What Sebastian went through isn’t funny. It was cruelty. I would think his friends would show more sympathy.”

“Relax,” Berkley said. “We’re only asking. How can we be sympathetic if we don’t know what he went through?”

“It probably wasn’t even bad. Camping is fun.” Tony smiled at Sebastian. “What was your favorite part of camp?”

Sebastian's eyes watered as he struggled to suppress those horrific memories. The memories he had buried so long ago.

“We have to go.” Axel’s voice was harsh. His eyes darted to Sebastian as he gathered up his trash. Sebastian did the same, and followed Axel out the door.

“But we have so much to catch up on,” Berkley called after them.

 

~~~~~

 

Luke convinced Skye to put on the least annoying dress she owned with the promise of never having to wear any of them again, followed by the promise of buying her candy. “As long as you’re good,” Luke had said.

They walked into the clothing store. The lighting was just as annoying as the lights in his kitchen. Equally annoying was how he seemed to be the only person in the world who felt that way about bright lights. He turned his backwards cap forward, and tugged it down to block out some of the light. Much better. He took his daughter’s hand in his and led her towards the little girl’s section.

There were racks upon racks of dresses. Different colors, materials, shapes, and sizes. There were bound to be a few Skye would be comfortable in. He let go of her hand. “Okay, go pick out some.”

She didn’t say anything. Not that Luke expected her to. But she didn’t move either. Luke looked down and noticed she had her hand over her face, covering her eyes.

“Skye?” Luke squatted to her level, and noticed tears. At least she was quiet about it. The last thing Luke wanted was a scene. “What’s wrong?”

“Hurts.”

“What hurts?”

She didn’t answer. Luke sighed. “If you’re not going to tell me, then at least hurry up and pick something out so we can go home soon. Then I can give you medicine that’ll make the pain go away.” Were children allowed pain medicine? Luke hadn’t thought of that.

Skye remained standing with her head down, hand over her eyes.

“You’re not going to find a dress doing that.” Luke pulled her hand away from her eyes. She shrieked, drawing the attention of a woman several feet away.

The woman scowled at Luke. “What are you doing?”

“Taking my daughter dress shopping.”

“That’s your daughter?”

“Yes!”

The daughter in question had her hand covering her eyes again, tears running down her cheeks.

“Little girl, do you know this man?” The woman actually had the nerve to ask.

Skye let out a sob, and ran. Luke chased after her. “Skye!”

That caught the attention and dirty looks of several more women. One reached out and grabbed Skye by the arm as she ran past. Luke caught up and thanked the woman. “Sorry about that. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

The woman ignored him, and asked Skye, “Where’s your mommy?”

Luke flinched. “She’s dead.”

“What?” The woman looked up at Luke.

“Her mom’s dead. I’m her dad. I’m just trying to buy her new clothes.”

“Oh?” The woman looked down at Skye, who still had her face covered. “Is this true?”

Skye managed a nod.

“She’s really shy,” Luke said. He took Skye’s hand in his. The hand that wasn’t covering her face. “Come on. Let’s go back to the dresses.”

They hadn’t strayed too far from them. Luke looked down at Skye. “You need to stop covering your face. How do you expect to pick out a dress if you can’t see them?”

Silence. Luke suppressed a groan. “Can you at least tell me why you won’t stop doing that?”

“It hurts if I don’t.”

“It hurts if you…” Luke dared to look up at the lights. The cursed lights that only ever seemed to bother him. “The lights bug you too?”

“Maybe?” Her voice was uncertain, as though she had never thought about what was causing her pain. Only that she was in pain, and covering her face eased it.

Luke fingered the brim of his hat. It would suck, but he figured he could survive the discomfort for a half hour. He took off his hat, and put it on Skye. “Is that better?”

Finally, Skye removed her hand from her face. The over-sized hat did most of the covering for her. She blinked a few times, then smiled. “Yeah!”

“Good.” Luke squinted. “Now hurry up and pick something out.”

As Luke watched her run up to a plain, green dress, he reflected on her episode in the kitchen the previous night. That damn light probably caused it. He couldn’t wait to gloat to his father that he wasn’t the only person bothered by it. Maybe now he’d consider changing the bulbs out for something a little dimmer.