14 – Breakup and Read (2)

Stellaluna was, not for the first time, in the abandoned groundskeeper cottage- located in the back garden, far away from the mansion and its visitors. She and Yannick had taken to meeting there a few times a week, in the afternoon.

Between reading from the one-word book, and Yannick’s help, Stellaluna started getting the hang of sounding out letters and words. But only with the aid of a picture next to the word being read out loud. She’d tried reading words from other books, but failed. At best, she could recognize a few letters. It was too hard to remember what letter made what sound.

Yannick had made her recite that ridiculous alphabet song she mentioned picking up as a child, while having her read off actual letters he had written in alphabetical order. (In which she discovered ‘elemen’ was actually three separate letters, not one.) He had tried quizzing her with flashcards. Each with a letter, and she’d have to guess the letter and its sounds. He made her another set of flashcards with a word on one side, and a picture of the object on the other. More studying she could do when he wasn’t there to help.

The cottage opened up to a large room, next to a kitchen. It also had a single bedroom and a bathroom. In the main room, Stellaluna sat across from Yannick at a round table. He held up a flashcard. It had a line with a small half-circle on the bottom-right connected to it.

“D?” Stellaluna guessed.

“B.”

“But it looks so much like a d.”

Yannick thumbed through the cards, pulling out another one. It had a line with a small half-circle on the bottom-left. “This one is a d. The other one is a b.”

“But they look the same!” Their names even sounded the same. She raked her fingers through her hair. “This is hopeless.”

“You will understand.”

“I’ll never understand!”

“You learn it only since two weeks.” He held up another flashcard. The triangle with legs.

Stellaluna sighed. “A. Upper-case. Ah.”

“See. You know this here.”

“Yes. I know one letter.”

“And this one.” Yannick held up an O.

Only because it was a basic circle. It made it memorable. Stellaluna buried her head in her hands.

“It took me years,” Yannick said. “I know still not all the rules.”

“You were a child when you learned. It’s too late for me.”

“It is still possible.”

“It’s useless.” Stellaluna looked over at the picture book about the cat. She couldn’t even read the title of it. Or, most of the title. She understood “cat.”

Yannick studied her studying the book. “We can a break make. I can to you read.”

It was better than agonizing over flashcards. And she’d finally know what the book was about. “Okay.”

Yannick moved to the chair next to her. He placed the book in between them, and read the cover aloud, pointing to each word as he spoke it. “The Adventures of Kate the Cat.” Then, he opened the book, and began to read the story in the same manner, pointing to each word as he spoke. It helped Stellaluna follow along, though she could barely guess at any of the letters. Her eyelids grew heavy and she found herself falling asleep to the sound of Yannick’s voice.

Yannick stopped reading. Was the story over? Stellaluna opened her eyes to look at Yannick, who stared at her. “This is not nap time,” he said with a smile.

Stellaluna apologized. “Maybe we should stop, before anyone starts looking for either of us.” It was probably time for Yannick to clock out anyway.

“Good idea.” Yannick checked his watch. “I must now go home. Next week?”

Stellaluna looked at the mess of flashcards and books sprawled on the table, feeling as though she’d barely made any progress. She was ready to give up for good. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m wasting your time.”

“I am being paid. It matters not what I make. When I am here.” Yannick’s eyes met Stellaluna’s. “I would rather you help.”

“You would rather help me,” Stellaluna corrected him.

“What?”

“The way you worded it. It sounded like you were wishing I would help you with something.”

“Sorry. I can never remember.” Yannick raised the corner of his mouth. “But I still try. You should also.”

It wasn’t like Stellaluna had anything better to do. “If you insist.”

~~~~~

For once, Sebastian got lucky. Ellie’s grandfather recovered from whatever ailment sent him to the hospital. She came home happy and relieved. No need for comforting.

Sebastian met up with her at the same park he tried sending her a break up text in. A couple of children played on the run-down playground. The same playground Sebastian had played on as a kid. Nothing about it had changed, other than a swing had gone missing.

“Can you imagine bringing our kids here?” Ellie asked.

Sebastian swallowed. Here was an opening. “About that…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want kids.”

Ellie stared at him as though he said he punched babies for fun. “You don’t want kids?”

Would she break up with him over this? There was only one way to find out. Sebastian played into it. “Nope. I hate kids. They’re loud and annoying and gross. Never wanted them.”

“But I love kids.” Ellie’s voice wavered.

Sebastian let out a dramatic sigh. “I guess this makes us incompatible.”

“I’m sure you’ll change your mind once we have some of our own.”

Some? Not one, but some? “No I won’t.”

“Of course you will. You love me, don’t you?”

“No.” The truth slipped out. Sebastian stared at the nearest tree, feeling like a terrible person. Feeling relieved to have finally admitted his true feelings.

“What do you mean, no?”

Here it was. The breakup. Less than a minute from now, Sebastian would be a free man. “I don’t love you. At all. I think we should break up.” He said the words quickly, lest he change his mind mid-sentence.

“Are you serious? Tell me you’re joking.”

Sebastian refused to look at her. He could tell from her voice alone that she was near tears, if not already crying. “I’m sorry. But I think we should see other people. You deserve better than me.”

They remained seated in an awkward silence. Ellie sniffled. “You’re still gay, aren’t you?”

Sebastian finally looked at her. Tears ran down her red cheeks. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. You were never cured.” Ellie wiped her tears away. “I had a feeling you hated kissing me. You wished I was a man instead.”

“I didn’t.” Sebastian’s heart raced at the accusation. “I loved kissing you. In fact, I was, uh, using you. I only kept you around so I could keep kissing you. But that’s not fair for you. You need a man who loves you for you, not your kisses.”

“Bullshit. You’re still one of them.”

“I’m not! I swear it!”

Ellie snorted as she stood up. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. I don’t have to, because everyone already knows it.”

Before Sebastian had a chance to defend himself, Ellie left, taking the weight on his shoulders with her. Finally, it was over. All over. There was only one last problem.

What would his father say or do when he found out?