14 – Breakup and Read (3)

Stellaluna and Yannick met in the cottage again. Progress felt slow. Yannick had her writing a lower case b over and over the previous day. Now, he had her writing a lower case d over and over. He thought if she wrote them down often enough, it would help her tell the difference between the two. Stellaluna thought otherwise, but went with it. It was either this, or moping about the house in a state of perpetual boredom.

It also kept her mind off of Barry. That morning, she had caught him coming out of a room with a woman servant. Both had rumpled clothes and messy hair. The woman turned pink at the sight of Stellaluna, and hurried away. Barry tried convincing Stellaluna that he was reprimanding the servant for taking long breaks.

Her hand gripped the pencil tightly. She didn’t necessarily care if Barry was cheating on her. In some ways, it was a relief. Since he was getting that pleasure from elsewhere, she no longer had to force herself into doing such things with him. No, it was the fact he was so obvious about it. The door wasn’t even closed all the way. Stellaluna stopped to watch through the crack. The servant on the bed, with Barry on top of her. Skirt pushed up, pants pulled down. And it hadn’t been the first time. No. Stellaluna had seen Barry coming out of rooms with women servants many times before. She wondered if he’d gotten any of them pregnant. He must have by now.

And did the girls even want it? Or were they being pressured into it under the threat of losing their jobs? Stellaluna was too afraid of that answer to ask any of them. Besides, what could she do about that? She loosened her grip on the pencil, and attempted another d.

It was probably common knowledge among the servants. Did they laugh about what a fool Stellaluna was? As if her life wasn’t pathetic enough. Her hand cramped up, and she put the pencil down. “I need to stop. My hand hurts.”

Yannick nodded. “You must the pencil not so tight hold.”

Stellaluna knew it, but she couldn’t help it. Her whole body had been tense since seeing Barry with that servant.

“We can a break make.” Yannick let out a breath, and his face grew serious. “There is, something to you say. You could it already know. But if not, you should. It is not right. If you nobody say.”

“What?”

“I thought it was... rumors? But I see Barry yesterday with a woman servant. In the music room…”

Stellaluna groaned. “I already know.”

“I’m sorry,” Yannick said. “I thought you should, if you not know. It is not right for nobody to you say.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“He buys them things if they do, and if they it you not say. They get extra pay from him.”

Stellaluna sighed. “They have a choice then?”

“I know not. But I hear they want to. Because of that.”

Questionable, but not as bad as Stellaluna had feared. Still, she felt like a fool.

“He deserves you not,” Yannick said. “You can better make.”

Maybe she could. Or maybe she couldn’t. Her parents went with the first rich man who showed interest in her. And that man was Barry. “It’s too late for that now. Divorce is illegal.”

“It should not be. It is in Germany legal.”

Germany sounded a lot better than Jefferson. A lot of places sounded better than Jefferson. “Why did your family move here?”

Yannick sat silently for a moment, brow furrowed deep. His usual reaction whenever he had a lot to say. “The war. We must fast leave. We wanted the Jefferson in Canada, but confused it with the Free States. We knew not until we here came, and we had no money to leave. We hoped it here not bad.” Yannick shook his head. “We were wrong. I miss Germany. When my parents die, I save money to return. To what is of it left...”

“I’ll miss you if you do,” Stellaluna found herself saying. And it was true. Aside from Zailey, and maybe Celine, Yannick was her closest friend. Quite sad, now that she thought about it.

“I will too.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “Maybe can you come with.”

“Maybe.”

They both knew she'd never be able to, but it was fun to dream.

~~~~~

“What’s this nonsense I’m hearing about you breaking up with Ellie?!” Waylon roared the second Sebastian entered his home.

How had he already heard the news? Sebastian closed the front door behind him. “She broke up with me.”

“That’s not what she told me!”

“She talked to you?”

“Yep. Sent me a text saying you broke up with her. Because you’re still gay.”

“I’m not still gay.”

“She suspects you are. Why else would you break up with her?”

“Because I didn’t like her! I’m not going to stay-”

“What’s all this yelling about?” Celine walked into the foyer.

“Sebastian broke up with Ellie. She told me he was never fixed.”

“Of course Sebastian is fixed. She’s only saying that because she’s hurt.”

“I’ll find another girl to date,” Sebastian said. “It’s not a big deal.”

“If I lose the election over this, I swear-”

“You’re not going to lose the election over this.” Celine set her hand on Waylon’s shoulder. “By then, everyone will have moved on to some other drama. Sebastian might even have a new girlfriend.”

Waylon glowered at Sebastian. “He better. And you’re lucky that cursed dog is a hit with those voters, or I’d drive him to the pound right now.”

Where was Tibby anyway? All the yelling probably had him cowering somewhere. Sebastian turned away from his father, and headed for his room.

Tibby laid on Sebastian’s bed. He raised his head when Sebastian walked in and flopped down next to him. Which was hard to do, since Tibby took up most of the bed. The dog whined and rested his head on Sebastian’s chest while Sebastian texted Axel the good news.

Someone knocked on his door. Based on the fact it was a knock and not a barge-in, Sebastian suspected it was his mother. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk, but called for her to come in anyway.

He sat up, and his mother took a seat at the foot of the bed. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Your father will be over it by tomorrow.”

And then he’d go right back to pushing him to find a girlfriend. Sebastian sighed. “It’s never gonna end.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“It won’t be okay! He’ll find some other girl to make me date. He’ll keep pushing me to marry. But I don’t to date or marry any girls. I…” Sebastian couldn’t bring himself state what he truly wanted. His mother probably knew what he meant anyway.

“That’s fine.”

“It’s not!” Sebastian nearly shouted, but feared his father would overhear. “How can I live a normal life?! I can’t get married. Can’t start a family. Any relationship I have will be a secret.”

“Things could change.”

“Things will never change!”

“Not everyone thinks the same way as your father. Look at all those people who showed up to that protest.”

“Yeah. All ten of them. At least two of them were gay anyway.” Sebastian gritted his teeth. “It’s hopeless.”

“Ten people brave enough to show support. Imagine how many people agreed with them, but were too afraid to admit it? Laws can change.”

“Not as long as Dad’s in office,” Sebastian muttered.

“His term is almost over. He might lose his race. Anything can happen.”

“I guess." Not that that mattered, because whoever ran against him would be just as bad.

His phone pinged. Sebastian checked it to see a message from Axel, asking if he wanted to hang out with him and Jake after his shift.

“Is that Axel?” His mom asked.

“Yeah. He wants to hang out later, with Jake.”

Celine smiled. “That sounds fun. I’m really glad you’ve made friends. You’re starting to get back to your old self.”

Sebastian didn’t feel like his “old self” at all. He still hated himself. Still felt shame over his feelings for Axel. But maybe he had gotten better at fooling people. His mother left the room, and he texted Axel back a "yes." At the very least, he was happy about having a good friend, despite being secretly in love with him